Girls Rock Boys
by thedemonspawn
Summary: I could get any girl I want.: :Yeah? Bet you 500 bucks you couldn't.: :You are so on.:
1. Prologe: The Bet

Yay! My first fanfic!

Disclaimer - I do not own South Park. Though, I do wish I owned Kenny...

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"Dude, that shit's gonna kill you," Stan said as he walked into Kenny's apartment, just in time to see him light a cigarette.

Kenny looked up abruptly, surprised. His eyes fell on Stan and he glared at him.

"Like anyone would care," he said before looking back down at the book in his lap, and letting his messy blonde hair fall in front of his eyes. He was sitting on the coffee table Indian style.

"That is a good point, Kenny. Who would care if you died? You'd come back anyway!" Cartman piped up from his position on the couch. Kenny shot him a dirty look. "Where the fuck is Kyle?"

Finals started tomorrow, and, of course, none of the four boys had even looked at a textbook 'til then. Kyle, as the smartest, had agreed to help the other three. Unfortunately, he had yet to show.

Meeting at Kenny's had been Stan's idea. No distractions. There was some advantage to having a friend who didn't live with his parents anymore.

Just as Stan sat down, they heard feet pounding their way up the stairs. Kyle burst through the door and slammed it shut behind him. He was flushed and out of breath.

"What happened to you?" Kenny asked as Kyle through himself down on the couch, next to Cartman.

"Your downstairs neighbors are… well…" He couldn't seem to find the words. The fact that the two girls that lived downstairs had just asked him to sex with them was fairly disturbing.

"Sluts." Kenny stated rather bluntly, "Yeah, I know." He smirked at Kyle with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Dude, you didn't." Stan was looking at him incredulously.

"Yeah. Both. At the same time." Kenny said, taking another drag of his cigarette.

"How the hell did you manage _that_?"

"You don't want to know."

"Who haven't you slept with?"

"The old couple down the hall. That's 'bout it."

"Even the guy across the hall?"

"Wasn't the best I've ever had, either."

"You are _so_ gay!"

"Shut the fuck up, Fatass!"

"Make me!"

Kenny stood up, walked over to Cartman, and proceeded to punch him in the face. As Cartman yelled and started to have a temper tantrum, one that wasn't very becoming to an 18-year-old I might add, about the fact that he could have broken his nose, Kenny went, very nonchalantly, back to his original place on the coffee table.

"For God's sake, Cartman, if you don't shut up I _will_ break your nose!"

Cartman instantly silenced, mumbling something about Kenny being a "fucking fag".

"Anyway," Kyle began, "how do you do it?"

"Uhh, Kyle, I thought we already went over this. When a man loves a woman very much-"

"Not that! I mean getting all the girls and stuff. No offence, or anything, but you're not the most charming person in the world."

Kenny cocked his head to one side and looked a Kyle inquisitively.

"What Kyle's trying to say," Stan jumped in, "is that you're a complete asshole, and he's wondering why a girl in her mind would want to go out with you."

Kyle pointed at Stan. "Yeah, what he said!"

"I don't know how I do it, I just do. It just kinda… happens."

"He doesn't get _all _the girls. I know of a couple of chicks who would much rather me over him."

Kenny snorted at this. "Yeah, _right_, Cartman. I could get any girl I want."

"Yeah? Bet you 500 bucks you couldn't."

"You are _so_ on."

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Comments & suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

- thedemonspawn 0


	2. Chapter 1: The Girl

2nd chapter! Sorry, it took a little longer to put up than I had expected. We just got a kitten and life is _crazy_.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park, I just like toying with it's characters. I do, though, own Allie.

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The terms of the bet went like this:

- Kenny had until the end of school, so about two weeks, to make any girl, of Cartman's choice, fall in love with him… or, at least sleep with him.

- The loser would pay the winner 500 dollars.

- Neither could tell _anyone __**anything**_ about the bet. The only other people who knew were Stan and Kyle.

"Hurry up, Fatass, we don't have all day." Kenny grumbled, leaning against his locker and clicking the stud in his tongue on his teeth.

"Shut the fuck up, Kenny! Gimme a minute!" Cartman shot back, looking through the crowd, searching for the perfect girl.

"Well, getting into a girl's pants is not the easiest thing in the world, and I need all the time I can get."

Kyle looked at him sideways. "Whoa, whoa. What happened to 'I can get any girl I want'?"

Kenny pulled up his hood and put his head against the locker. "I just want enough time, okay?" he mumbled into it.

"Hmmm… Bebe?" Cartman asked.

"Been there, done that."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, spring break. I didn't tell you?"

"No!"

"Wendy?" interjected Cartman.

"Excuse me?" Stan looked about ready to punch him in the face.

"I'm not going to screw Stan's girlfriend, alright, Cartman? That's just… wrong."

"How about her?"

"Who?" Kenny looked up. Then he saw her.

A girl with wavy, dark red hair that came to the middle of her back and bright green eyes was talking to Wendy across the hall.

"Ok, why the _fuck _haven't I seen her before?!"

"Allie? She's been here since the beginning of the term, dumbass." Kyle said, just before the bell rang for homeroom.

"How do _you_ know her, and _I_ don't?" Kenny asked as he was dragged into the classroom by Stan.

"I had to give her the tour when she got here, that's all." Kyle stated as he sat down.

Kenny through a pencil at the back of Cartman's head and leaned forwards. He turned around.

"You want me to get Allie?"

"Yeah."

"Great."

The teacher turned around.

"Mr. McCormick, will you _please_, for the last time, take off that hood?"

"Um," Kenny looked thoughtful, "no."

"To the office then."

"What? I didn't even-"

"Office! Now, Mr. McCormick!"

"Fuck off." And with that he trudged out of the room.

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	3. Chapter 2: The Encounter

OK. I am so sorry I haven't updated in _forever. _Please forgive me.

Anyway, so this isn't really super confusing...

"Talking"

_Kenny talking to himself  
_

_**Kenny's subconscious talking** _

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Arriving at the principal's office, Kenny fell into one of the chairs, and pulled his hood tighter, so all you could see was his eyes. 

"In trouble again, I see, Kenny?" The principal's secretary, Lily, was looking at him with a smirk on her face. She was about 22, straight out of college, and was only working at the school because she didn't have anything better to do. Over the past four years they had gotten to know each other very well, seeing as how Kenny couldn't keep himself out of the office to save his life. (Not that he would try, mind you.)

"Hm mm mm-mm?"

"Sorry, what was that?"

He through off his hood, exasperated. "I said, 'What else is new?'"

"Oh, of course. How stupid of me." Lily rolled her eyes, and continued flipping through the magazine in front of her.

"You're not gonna tell him I'm here?"

"Do you want me to tell him you're here?" She reached for the phone.

Kenny sat straight up in his seat. "No!"

She paused and gave him a funny look.

"I mean, no, I don't care." He quickly tried to save what little dignity he had left, through his hood back over his face, and closed his eyes.

He heard the door open and close, the sound of boots on tile, and then a female voice laced with a New York accent.

"OK, I'm here, what am I doin' today?"

He opened one eye, and there **she** was.

Allie

"_You _are filing today, Ms. Richards," said Lily as she passed the girl a stack of papers.

"Great." She walked to the back of the office, black boots dragging on the floor.

Kenny looked up. "Hm mm-mm mm m mm-mm-mm?"

"What?"

He practically ripped the hood off his head. "Can I go back there?!"

She ignored his outburst. "Knock yourself out."

Pushing himself out of his chair and walking to where Allie was working, he leaned against the filing cabinet.

"Hey." He mentally slapped himself.

_**Perfect**__** opening line McCormick**__**Geez...**_

"Hi." She looked up at him from her position kneeling on the floor, putting papers into the bottom drawer.

_**Goddamn, she looks good like that…**_

_NO__! Bad Kenny, __bad Kenny__! Think love, __not__ sex!_

"Why are you here?"

_**Oh, yeah, you're just **__**oozing**__** charm now, aren't ya buddy?**_

_Will you shut up?! Oh, shit, she talking…_

"… so I work at the office durin' my free period."

_At least I didn't miss anything important…_

"Oh, cool. So, do you want to maybe go out sometime?"

_**Goin' in for the kill! Woo!**_

_SHUT UP!_

She laughed and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. "Wow, you don't waste any time do ya?" she asked as she stood up.

"I guess not." His infamous cheeky little smirk appeared on his face.

_**Oooooo! Pulling out the big guns for this one, eh?**_

"Well, in that case, I'll just have to tell you this…" She grabbed the neck of his hoodie and pulled his face down to hers.

_**Holy shit!**_

_Holy shit!_

She turned his head and whispered in his ear. "I _really_ don't appreciate being hit on by sleaze-balls like you, and I would never, _ever_ go out with you even if you were the last guy on Earth."

The bell rang.

She let go of him, gave him a little push, turned, and walk out of the office.

He was left there stunned, his eyes bugging out a little and his mouth hanging open.

Lily turned around, laughing her ass off. "You… can… go…" She managed in-between little bursts of laughter.

He just walked out, still stunned. He couldn't even come up with a good comeback.

_**I think we just got told…**_

_Shut the fuck up…_

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**After school…**

"She really said that!" Kyle was practically in tears, he was laughing so hard.

"Oh, my God…" Stan just shook his head.

"Mm-mm!" Kenny was hiding in his hood. He had just retold the story of what happened in the office to the guys, minus Cartman, because he had already gone home. (He really didn't count as a guy, if you asked Kenny.)

"I'm sorry, man, but that is _too_ funny!"

"Hm mm-mm mm mm m m mm-mm mm, mm-mm-mm, mm mm-mm mm!"

Kenny stepped off the sidewalk for a moment, of course, just in time for a truck to come whizzing by and making him very good friends with the pavement. There was a sickening crack as his skull split and then silence.

"Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!"

Stan and Kyle looked at each other. How long had it been since they had said _that_? Kenny, surprisingly, hadn't died for a few years now.

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**Meanwhile…**

Kenny landed on his ass in Hell.

"Well, this blows…"


	4. Chapter 3: The Morning

I wanted to write, so I wrote. This is kinda like a filler chapter, but it has _some_ useful information about the story, so READ IT ANYWAY.

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White. To much white. For a second, Kenny thought he was in Heaven, and just as he was about to start celebrating, he realized it was his sheet covering his head.

Groaning, he sat in bed and un-plugged his screaming alarm clock. He felt like he had gotten hit by a truck. (No pun intended.) He had forgotten how energy draining coming back to life was.

He reached up and touched the back of his head where it had split the day before. Nothing. He smiled faintly. There were _some_ good things that came with coming back to life. No scars. When his dad had started hitting him, he would kill himself afterward, just so he wouldn't have to explain the bruises the next day.

_**We're thoughtful this morning, aren't we?**_

_You again! _

_**You want me to leave? Kenny, I'm hurt.**_

_GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!_

_**Fine! Be that way!**_

He really hated his subconscious sometimes. It was the horny, loud, annoying, obnoxious side of himself that he listened to more than he should have. It was like a little Cartman living in his head.

Dragging himself out of bed, he began going though the pile of clothes that had collected on the floor, trying to find something relatively clean to wear. Black jeans, a white t-shirt, and his old, falling apart Converse he had had since he was 15, was the best he could do.

He grabbed his hoodie off the back of his computer chair, yanked the front door open and made his way downstairs. One of girls that lived under him, Vicky, was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey, Kenny." She sounded drunk, or high, or maybe both, he couldn't tell.

"Hey." He slowed down but didn't stop, because he knew what would happen if he did.

"Me and Christy are gettin' kinda lonely, why don't you come over and we can have a little fun?" She ran her hand up and down his arm, and he suddenly got the urge to puke. He _so_ didn't need to be hit on this early in the morning.

"Why don't you ask me later?"

"'Kay…" She wandered off, back to her apartment.

He started walking to school, lighting a cigarette as he went.

What to do about Allie. She obviously hated his guts, so he guessed he would just have to find out why. Or, he could just walk up to her and shove his tongue in her mouth. It had worked before.

_**I like the second idea.**_

_Yeah, because __you're__ the one who made me think of it._

_**Hey, hey! It got us into Kelly's pants, didn't it? Personally, I think it was the piercing. That was like the icing on the cake.**_

_That was two years ago! I have much better tactics now, asshole. And by the way, please remind me to ignore you the next time you have a brilliant idea that involves newly pierced body parts. It hurt like hell!_

_**I just give you the ideas; you don't have to do what I tell you.**_

_Yeah, right…_

He had just past the sign that said 'Welcome to Park High School'

_Might as well say 'Welcome to Hell', and just get it out in the open._

Park High School. It was basically day care for all the 14 to 18-year-old kids in North, South, East, and West Parks. Total and complete chaos.

At least he was almost out.

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Review!


	5. Chapter 4: The Office

Alrighty then. On with the story!

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"Kenny McCormick!"

Kenny lifted his head off his desk. "Yeah, sir?" he slurred, trying to wake up from his 8th period nap that had been so rudely interrupted.

His history teacher, Mr. K, was looking at him sternly. Kenny just stared back, a look of innocent confusion on his face. Yeah, innocent, _right_.

"What did I just say?"

"You said 'Kenny McCormick', sir."

"Don't get smart with me."

"Did you or did you not just ask me want you said?"

Mr. K was gritting his teeth. "I did…"

"And the last thing you said before you asked the question _was_ 'Kenny McCormick', was it not?"

"It was…"

"So the problem is…?"

He was on the verge of being kicked out, he could tell.

"I'm not it the mood for this today, Kenny-"

"Ya know, I think I'll save you the trouble and send myself to the office, sir."

And with that, he grabbed his books and walked out.

_**Nice going.**_

_Thanks._

_**I was being sarcastic. **_

_I know. _

_**If we keep going like this we're not going to graduate.**_

_Since when do __you__ give a flying fuck about whether we graduate or not? Isn't that kinda __my__ problem?_

_**Well, yeah, but I get taken along for the ride. I don't need anymore of your emotional shit.**_

_Our__ emotional shit._

_**Whatever… Hey! Why didn't you take up Vicky's offer this morning? It's been, like, three days since you got laid, and I'm gettin' antsy.**_

_What part of 'I really need to get this girl to like me' don't you understand?_

_**I understand **__**that**__**. What I don't get is how not having sex is going to make her like you more!**_

_I have this feeling that's why she doesn't like me._

_**Perfect. Just fucking **__**perfect**__**…**_

He had gotten to the principal's office, and just as he was about to open the door, he noticed Allie was there.

_**Hey, look, Allie! She's here! Alone! Go get her! Fuck her on the desk if you have to!**_

_Down boy! Bad Kenny!_

_**Come on, man!**_

_Shut up…_

He opened the door. She looked up. The look of concentration that had been on her face turned to one of annoyance.

"Oh, lucky me, dickhead's here."

"Nice to see you, too."

_**Damn right it is!**_

"I'm sure. Lil's not here, so you can go."

_**Don't you fucking dare!**_

"What?"

"It's last period. No one's gonna know you left."

"Are you being nice to me?"

_**Of course she is! Now's your chance! Kiss her!**_

"No. I just don't want you here."

_**Come on!**_

"Ah. I'll go then."

"Yeah."

He turned around and walked out.

_**You suck. Really hard.**_

_Like I haven't heard __that__ one before._

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_This was really fun to write! Review! _


	6. Chapter 5: The Meeting

I'm in the mood to write, so I'll probably be updating a few more times tonight.

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Kenny pushed the front door open and walked in. It was 10:00 at night, and he was just getting home. Well, actually, he had gotten home at 3:30 this afternoon, but had run into Christy downstairs and had spent the last 6 and a half hours having sex. So, technically, he stumbled in and collapsed on the sofa. He was _never_ doing that again. 

He was considering throwing himself off the roof when the phone rang. It hurt to move, but he picked it up.

"What?"

"What the fuck's wrong with you?"

"Lots of things, Cartman. What do you want?"

"Just checkin' in on the bet. How's it goin'?"

"She hates my guts with a fiery passion. Happy?"

"Very."

"Can I go now?"

"What's the rush?"

"I have to kill myself."

"I won't keep you, then. Have fun."

"Defiantly." He pressed the off button on the phone, let it fall to the floor, and buried his head into the pillow on the back of the sofa. Then he had an idea.

Pushing himself off the couch, he began searching the kitchen.

"Phonebook… phonebook…"

_**Freezer.**_

_What?_

_**Last time we where drunk you put it in there. Don't ask me.**_

His subconscious was talking like it was on drugs.

_Oh._

He went to the freezer, and sure enough, there was the phonebook. He pulled it out and began searching for Allie's number.

_**By the way, thanks.**_

_For what?_

_**The past 6 hours. **_

_Yeah, well, you might have had a good time, but __I__ get to pay for it. What's Allie's last name. I can't remember._

_**Richards.**_

_Thanks._

"Richards… Richards… Richards!" he happily exclaimed when he found her name. Well, her dad's name, at least.

"Please be the right one…" he said as he dialed the number.

"Hello?" a woman's voice asked.

"Hi, is Allie there?"

"Oh, yes, hold on." He could hear the phone being passed.

"Hi?"

"Hey, Allie, it's Kenny."

"God, not you. What do you want?"

"I want you to meet me at the park."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"I just want to talk to you."

"We're talking right now, numbnuts."

"In person. Come on."

"How do I know you're not going to rape me or something?"

"Well, if I do try anything, I give you full permission to kick my ass. How's that?"

She sighed. "When?"

"Eleven. Or is that too late?"

"I'll seek out. Eleven it is then. Bye." She hung up.

"Perfect."

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**11:05 PM**

Kenny was sitting on the top of the slide, at the playground, finishing a cigarette when he saw a figure walking towards him.

He just watched her. It was the first time he had gotten a good look at her. Her long, dark red hair was blowing out behind her in the light breeze, and her bright green eyes were fixed on him, flaring with anger. She was clutching her jean jacket closed, and he couldn't help but notice how good her legs looked in her skinny black jeans. Red hi-tops were on her feet, reminding him of the ones on his own, except that hers looked brand new and his looked like they had been through a war, complete with blood stains.

Before he knew what was happening, she was next to him, pulling him off the slide. He fell with a thump. She looked down at him.

"Okay, I'm here, what do you want?"

He got up and brushed himself off.

"I wanted to ask you why you hate me."

"That's it! You couldn't have asked me that over the phone?"

"I wanted to see you."

She blew a piece of hair that was hanging in her face back.

"Well, if you must know, I hate you because I've never seen anyone break so many hearts in my life. Do you know how many girls have come into school practically suicidal because they found out you were cheating on them? Do you know how many fights you've caused? How many friendships you've destroyed because two girls both claimed they were going out with you? To be honest, it's sickening. That's why I hate you." She finished looking slightly flustered.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

_**Damn… when she puts it like that, you suck.**_

_I suck! You're the one who instigated half of the shit I've done!_

_**So?**_

_I'm having you removed…_

_**Yeah, **__**right**_

"Well?" He looked up. She was looking at him expectantly. "Anything to say?"

"So, basically, if I didn't have the track record I do, you would consider going out with me?"

"Maybe."

"Can't we just pretend I haven't had more sex than Cartman's mom?"

"What?"

"Sorry, inside joke. What I mean is, can't you just kinda look over the fact that I'm…"

"A slut?"

"Yeah."

"No, I can't. Why do you want to go out with me so badly anyway?

"I just do, okay. I think you're interesting and I'd like to know you better."

_**You are **__**such**__** a good liar.**_

She snorted. "Yeah, right. You'd like to get to know my boobs better."

_**HELL YEAH!**_

"That would be a bonus."

She laughed. It wasn't mocking or anything, it was genuine laughter.

"Well, Kenny, if really want to get to get to know me, we have all night."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

And for once, his subconscious was speechless.

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	7. Chapter 6: The Acceptance

**2:31 AM**

Kenny was having one of the best nights of his life. He and Allie had been talking for the past three and a half hours with barely any interruption from Kenny's subconscious. He was currently pushing her on the swing as she told him about growing up in New York City.

"So, what was it like growing up here?"

"Interesting."

"How so?"

"We've had just about everything from aliens abducting people, to Canadians fighting us, to Hell trying to take over, so I've seen everything."

"Wow."

"Well, you had that giant marshmallow man try to destroy the world, right?"

She spun the swing around so she was facing him. He caught the chains just before she hit him.

"That was a movie, bozo."

"I love when you insult me."

"Get used to it."

Was she accepting his offer?

"Are you going to do it a lot?"

"If you keep saying stupid things, I will."

He just noticed that he was still holding on to the chains of the swing and they were very close.

She was looking at him with curiosity in her eyes.

_**Go for it, man.**_

"Will you go out with me?"

"Is this our first date?"

"It can be."

"Are you going to stop sleeping around?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to cheat on me?"

"No."

"Then yes."

He hesitated, but closed the gap between them and kissed her. She kissed back and it was short, but sweet. When he pulled back she opened her eyes and smiled a little.

"I get to kick your ass now."

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	8. Chapter 7: The Call

The first five periods of school the next day went by in a flash. Then it was lunch. Time to majorly rub the fact that Allie was going out with him in Cartman's face.

He had already almost had a heart attack that morning when he saw them walk into school hand in hand and kiss before going to their homerooms. Kenny had given him the biggest smirk as he sat down behind him.

By 2nd period, the entire school knew: Kenny McCormick and Allie Richards were together. By 4th, they were engaged. And by 5th, Allie was pregnant with Kenny's baby.

When they heard the last one they were in history, and started having uncontrollable fits of laughter. Mr. K did not like this. They ended up in the office until lunch.

Kenny brought Allie over to his table with the guys. Wendy insisted on sitting there that day, now that Allie was with Kenny (Stan was offended that it wasn't because of him), and Bebe sat with Wendy, so they had a fairly full table.

Cartman kept staring at Kenny and Allie in disbelief. His brain just couldn't process it; last night she hated him, and today she was holding his hand and kissing him in the hall.

Then again, Kenny was trying to rub his nose in it.

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Later that night, Allie called Kenny, and they spent the evening doing the huge piles of homework they had (Kenny had more because he hadn't had time the previous night), and talking.

"One more, please?"

"Do your own math problems, Mr. McCormick."

"Come on. Please?"

"No!"

"This is the last one, I swear."

She sighed, exasperated. "Fine. But only 'cause you're cute."

"Yay!" Beep. Beep.

"Hold on, I have another call."

"K."

He switched lines. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kenny."

"Kyle! What's up?"

"I just wanted to ask you something."

"If it has nothing to do with math, go ahead."

"Alright, well, I was just wondering, did you tell her?"

"What?"

"Did you tell Allie about the bet? Is she in on it? I mean, it was kinda weird how one day she hated you and the next she was dating you."

"No, I didn't tell her. Last night I called her, meet her at the park, worked my magic, and here we are. That's it."

"Did you sleep with her, Kenny?"

"No! If I had I would have already collected my 500 bucks!"

"Alright, alright, I get it. What are you going to do if she finds out?"

"Give Cartman 500 bucks."

"Where are you gonna get that much money, Kenny? You barely make enough to pay your part of the rent, let alone an extra 500 dollars!"

"Well, remember the near the beginning of 4th grade, TheHoward Stern Show…"

"What?! Kenny, that's insane! You can't do that! I won't let you do that!"

"You won't let me? What are you, my mother?!"

"At least I'm a better mother than your real one!"

Kenny hung up.

"Allie?"

"Hey! You're back!"

"Yeah, look, I need to go, okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Is something wrong? Who called?"

"Nothing. No one. I just need to go, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Goodnight."

"'Night…"

He just sat there. How dare Kyle? Who the fuck did he think he was?

_**It's true.**_

_What?_

_**He does make a better mother than our real one.**_

_Yeah, I know._

_**Then why are you angry?**_

_Because he said it._

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	9. Chapter 8: The Reason

New chapter! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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A week later, everything was going great. The last day of school, and prom, was two days away. Kenny and Allie had survived the week (well, Kenny got blown up in chemistry once) with minimal fighting. Cartman had taken to having daily hissy fits, because at this rate he would be out 500 dollars by Friday.

"Hey, do you want to come over?" Allie asked.

Kenny almost dropped the phone. "What?"

"Do. You. Want. To. Come. Over."

_**Hell yeah!**_

"Your parents won't mind?"

"No. They're not home."

_**Are you fucking kidding me! Say yes!**_

"I'll be over in a few minutes."

_**Woohoo!**_

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Ten minutes later, he was standing on Allie's front steps, knocking on her door.

The house was huge.

_Can't wait to meet her parents... they'll probably call the cops._

_**But you're not meeting her parents tonight! They're gone! Leaving **__**her**__** at your disposal!**_

_You make it sound so dirty._

_**How else would you describe it?**_

_True..._

"Kenny, that you?"

"Yeah!"

She opened the door.

"Come in!" She gave him a quick kiss as she closed the door behind him. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him into the living room and pushed him down onto the sofa, before walking over the big screen TV on the other wall.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure."

"Which?"

"Don't care." He really didn't, because the minute she sat down next to him they started making out.

_**Work the magic, baby!**_

_Get out of here..._

Their make-out session was only interrupted by Allie stopping to swat Kenny's hands away from the hem of her skirt.

"We're not going there, yet, buddy."

He mumbled a 'sorry' before crashing his lips back onto hers. His brain wasn't really working at full capacity, if you know what I mean…

* * *

An hour went by. They had moved upstairs, Kenny was lying on her bed, and Allie had just taken off her shirt.

_This is gonna be a good night..._

She closed her eyes and moved back down to kiss him again. Just as their lips were about to touch, there was the sound of car wheels on the gravel driveway.

"Oh, shit!" Allie practically flew off the bed, grabbed her shirt, and pulled it on.

"You have to leave!"

"Ya think?" He was about to jump out her window.

"Wait, I'll come with you!"

She scribbled a quick note, and pushed herself out the window behind him.

"Where do you want to go?" Kenny whispered.

"Anywhere. Let's just walk."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later found them walking down a street on Kenny's side of town.

It felt familiar somehow. Like he had been on this street before. Then he heard a voice he had _never _wanted to hear again.

"Git yer fat ass in here, you stupid bitch!"

Kenny stopped dead in his tracks. Just ahead of them stood a broken down, green house. The house he grew up in.

"Kenny, are you okay?"

"T-that's my house…" He pointed towards it.

"Your house? You told me you lived in an apartment."

"I do, but I lived _there _before. Come on." He turned around and started heading in the other direction.

"Wait, Kenny, was that your parents?"

"Yeah… so?"

"Why don't you go over?"

Kenny laughed a little at this. "Well, first off, in this neighborhood, if you hear anyone on your property at this time of night, you get your shotgun. Second, I really don't think my dad is up for a visit right now. And third…" He trailed off.

"Third?"

"They don't even know I'm still alive."

"What?"

"I'm dead to them by now."

"'By now'? What do you mean, 'by now'?"

He looked at the ground. "I ran away when I was 15… they didn't even look for me…"

"Kenny, I…" She took a step towards him. "I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. I mean, I really didn't expect them to care."

"How have you been living by yourself for 3 years?"

"My brother pays half my rents… he can barely afford to, but he does it."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Come here." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

"Wanna go back to my place?" He suddenly had that cheeky grin on his face.

"Kenny!" She hit him playfully on the chest.

"What'd I do?"

She sighed. "I would like to go to your place, but if you're gonna be a dickhead, I won't."

"Did you just call me a dickhead?"

"Yes. Yes, I did."

"Okay, then." He wrapped his arm around her waist and steered them towards his apartment complex.

They ended up falling asleep on his couch.

* * *

Review, and you will be showered with cookies! 


	10. Chapter 9: The Confrontation

**_On with the story!_**

* * *

"Kenny, stop that." 

"Stop what?"

"That!"

"This?"

"Yes, that!"

Allie leaned over and grabbed the cigarette out of Kenny's hands.

"Hey!"

"You're going to end up dead one of these days, you know."

He looked at her, his eyebrows raised.

"You know what I mean."

They were currently sitting on Kenny's couch, her legs draped over his.

_**Okay, I have a question.**_

_What?_

_**Why**__** haven't you fucked her yet?**_

_Because, dumbass, I __really__ don't want to mess this up._

_**Yeah, well, there **__**is**__** 500 bucks hanging in the balance, so do you think you could sleep with her **__**and**__** not mess it up?**_

_What do you think?_

_**Since when did you get a conscience?**_

_Shut up._

"We should get to school."

"Yeah."

She stood up, pulling him with her, and kissed him softly before heading for the door.

"I can't believe we only have three days left."

"Yeah, I know."

" Are you okay? You're all distant."

"I'm fine."

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Vicky appeared in her doorway.

_Does she wait for me?_

"Hey, Kenny."

"Hey."

Allie grabbed his arm, almost possessively. She was glaring daggers at the other female.

"I went to see if you wanted to come over last night, but I see you were busy." She looked Allie up and down, like _she _was the whore.

"Hey, listen, bitch-"

"We have to go now." He pulled Allie out the front door before any blood was shed.

"You should have let me hit her."

"Yeah, well…"

"Well what? You must love the fact that two girls are fighting over you."

"Three, actually."

"Three?"

"Yup."

"Wow.

Four hours later, lunch rolled around. The only time Kenny saw Cartman all day. Perfect.

"Hey, fatass, I need to talk to you!"

"What?"

He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I want out."

"'Cuse me?"

"I want out of the bet. I'm not going to do that to Allie."

"Do what?"

"Are you stupid?"

"Are you? You can't back out now! I won't let you!"

"Yeah, want are you going to do-"

He quickly shut his mouth as Allie sat down next to him.

"Are you guys fighting again?"

"Of course. What else do we do?" He shot a glare at Cartman.

_**He is such a dick.**_

_Tell me something I don't know._

_**Okay! Allie has her hand on our leg.**_

He looked down. And sure enough…

_Holy shit…_

_**Will you fuck her **__**now**_

* * *

_**Review! **_


	11. Chapter 10: The Confrontation, Part 2

Later that day, on his way home from school, Kenny was still trying to process what had happened at lunch. Was she trying to tell him something? Was it one of those signs women give, but men rarely get? Was he overthinking it?

_**You shoulda just jumped her right there.**_

_Oh, yeah, __that's__ a good idea._

_**I never said it was. It's just a fun one.**_

Entering his apartment, he through his bag down, fell onto the sofa, and sighed.

_Prom is the day after tomorrow. You think you can wait that long?_

_**I knew it! You're gonna do her at the prom!**_

_Well, maybe not __at__ the prom, but..._

_**Woohoo!**_

The phone rang. Kenny leaned over to look at the caller ID. Cartman. Wonderful.

"What do you want?"

"I wanna know why your backing out. You afraid you can't do it?"

"I know I can do it, I just don't want to, _Cartman_."

"Well, that's to bad, then. 'Cause I'm not letting you out." He hung up.

"Asshole!" Kenny yelled before slamming the phone down.

_I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him!_

_**Why? You were gonna fuck her anyway, right? Now you just get 500 dollars on top of it.**_

_Maybe you're right. Maybe I am overreactting._

And he fell asleep on the couch for the second night in a row.

* * *

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	12. Chapter 11: The Bleachers

One more day. That's all people were talking about. Just one more.

Kenny was hidding under the bleachers at lunch, not wanting to face Allie anymore then he had to. He had to admit, he was scared.

It was funny. The one thing he couldn't wait to do two weeks ago was now scaring the shit out of him.

He lit a cigarette and had barely begun to relax when he heard a familar voice.

"Kenny? Kenny, you there?"

"I'm here."

Stan stuck his head under the bleachers.

"Hey, dude."

"Hey."

"Why aren't you at lunch? Allie's worried."

"Not hungery."

"Oh." He sat down next to the blonde.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Everything's just fucking perfect."

"That's convincing."

"Shut up."

"Kyle told me what you're planning to do if you lose."

"Yeah, so?"

"So? It's crazy!"

"I can do what I want."

"You don't really want to, though, do you?"

"No." Kenny let his head drop onto Stan's shoulder.

"I just don't know what else I can do. I'm not really good at anything else. I can't even get into college."

"Kenny, you didn't even applie to any colleges. That's why you didn't get in."

Silence.

"You're not going to lose anyway. She really loves you."

"But will she sleep with me? That's the question."

"True, but-"

The bell rang.

"We should go."

"Yeah."

They stood up and made their way to class.

* * *

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	13. Chapter 12: The First Time

Kenny woke to ringing. He rolled over onto his back and fumbled for the phone.

"Hello?" He asked groggly.

"Did I wake you up?" Allie.

"Kinda..."

"Oh, sorry. I was just wondering when I should pick you up."

"Ummmm... Is 7 okay?"

"That'd be great! Alright, well, I have to go. Love you!"

"Okay..." He hung up and fell back to his original position, lying on his stomach.

His eyes snaped open.

"Did she just say she loves me?!"

_**Yes, she did!**_

_Holy shit..._

_**We're gonna get some tonight! We're gonna get some tonight!**_

7 o'clock. Kenny was currently bashing his head into wall behind him as he sat on the couch. His tux was old and worn, something he had stolen from his brother, and he himself wasn't feeling all that great.

He heard a knock on the door.

_Great timing. I was almost unconchuse._

He was almost knocked over as he opened the door. Allie quickly through her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"This is going to be great!"

"Definatly."

She was wearing a red, satin dress, high-heeled sandals, and too many silver braclets to even try to count. Her hair had been done up in a messy bun, and she looked even more gorguse than she always did.

"What?" He realized he was staring.

"Oh, nothing. You just look... amazing."

"Thanks... We should probably be going."

"Right."

He quickly followed her out the door.

It got pretty boring really fast. It was just like all the other dances he had ever been to. The only thing that was keeping him entertained was Allie. She was having a blast.

He was just staring at her as she talked animatedly with Wendy and Bebe, when he was suddenly brought back to realaity.

"It's now or never, fag." Cartman was standing behind him.

Kenny turned around as slowly as he could and looked right at him.

"Up yours, fatass." He sissed. Then he turned back to Allie and wraped his arms around her waist.

"Hi." She sounded a little surprized.

"Hey. You wanna go somewhere else? I'm bored."

"My house is down the street."

"Are you sure?"

"I know where my house is, dumbass."

"No, I mean, are you sure you want to go there."

"Yeah. Let's go."

She grabbed his hand and made her way to her car.

Five minutes later, they were making out on her bed.

"Kenny?" Allie maneged to get out as he kissed her neck.

"Hmm?"

"Stop." He looked up at her.

_Uh-oh._

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing... I'm just not sure if I really should be doing this."

"We don't have to..." He sat up.

_**Are you crazy!**_

"No, I'm sorry, I want to," She grabbed his arm. "I'm just... nervous."

"First time?"

"Yeah..."

"I'll be gentle, then."

"I know. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She kissed him and pulled him back down on top of her.

* * *

There's only, like, 2 or 3 more chapters, so I hope you enjoy.

Review!


	14. Chapter 13: The Fight

Hello! I'm finally updating, woohoo!

* * *

"Could we go back for a minute?"

"Hmm?"

Kenny watched has Allie proped herself up on one elbow and looked him in the eye.

"Could we go back to the prom really quick? I just need to talk to someone."

"Sure. Let me just put my dress back on."

"No, I think you look great without it."

"Kenny!"

"What? It's true!"

She got out of bed and began pulling her dress back on as she through Kenny's clothes at him.

_**Wow...**_

_What?_

_**I'm still in shock.**_

_Yeah, me too._

"Kenny? Kenny!"

"What?"

"You were zoning out again. Get dressed!"

"Oh, right, yeah!"

* * *

They arrived back at the prom and were quickly separated, Kenny being dragged away by Stan to the corner and Allie being pulled by Wendy over to the other girls.

"You did it, didn't you?"

"What?" Kenny tried to look as inoccent as possible.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Kenny. Don't play dumb."

"But I'm so good at it."

"Did you or did you not?!"

"I did."

Stan suddenly got this look of relief on his face.

"Thank God! I don't think I can take much more of Cartman's over-inflatted ego! Go talk to him!"

"Yes, sir!"

He began making his way through the crowd.

_**Come on! Fatass can't be **__**that**__** hard to find!**_

_Yeah, I know, gimme a minute!_

Sure enough, Cartman wasn't that hard to find. He was fighting with Kyle near the stage.

"Hey, Fatass," Kenny yelled, "You owe me 500 bucks!"

Cartman spun around.

"What did you say ta meh?"

"I said you owe me 500 bucks, so fork it over!"

He looked stunned. Then he got one of his evil looks on his face.

"All right, Kenny, you win."

"Excuse me?"

"You win the bet." He over effavized the last word.

"Kenny?" Allie was behind him.

"Oh, hey, Al." Kenny looked frantic, it just dawned on him what Cartman was up to. "You ready to go?"

"Did I hear someone say you won a bet?"

"Oh, no, inside joke, can we go now?"

"Hold on a minute, Kenny. You remember, don't you?"

Kenny eyes grew wide.

"Cartman, don't." He sounded more like he was begging then he would have liked, but it didn't really matter. He was frozen.

"The bet we made! You know, the one about how you could get any girl to sleep with you? And I chose Allie, remember?"

Allie looked horrified.

"Kenny, is that true?"

"Allie, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Save it!"

She started pushing her way through the crowd, Kenny right behind her.

"Allie, please, wait!"

She shoved open the door and walked towards her car.

_**Stop her, you idiot!**_

"Allie!"

"What?!" She spun around so fast you barely saw her and her hand collided with the side of his face. Tears stunge his eyes, but he pushed on.

"I love you..."

"That is such a load of bullshit! You don't love me! The only thing that matters to you is when you're gonna get fucked next! I never should have listened to you, I _never_ should have trusted you, and I _**NEVER**_ should have slept with you! And I..." she trailed off as she began to cry, "I certainly never should have said I loved you."

He couldn't say anything. It was true and he hated himself for it.

"Goodbye, Kenny. Have a nice life." And with that she was gone.

He just stood there, willing himself not to cry.

* * *

Review! 


	15. Chapter 14: The Day After

Ok, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in _forever_, but life is CRAZY!

* * *

"Fuck, man..."

Kenny groaned as he lifted his head up from under his pillow and looked at the clock. The red numbers said it was 9:36 A.M. He had slept about 5 hours.

The night before was a blur. The last things he remembered were bashing Cartman's face in, being dragging away, literally, kicking and screaming, and the beginning of getting completely trashed. He had the worst hangover of his life, so he was pretty sure he drank a lot.

Allie had crushed him. Or he had crushed her, he wasn't totally sure. Either way, he felt like shit, and was thinking of going and sticking a couple of forks in his eyes as punishment.

_**Oh, yeah, **__**that**__** would be fun.**_

_Why aren't you as broken up about this as I am?_

_**I am. I'm just better at hiding it.**_

_Yeah, right..._

He let his head fall back onto the bed, and just as he was about to fall back to sleep...

BBBBEEEEPPPP!

His doorbell rang.

He grunted in annoyance, but sat up and held his head as he walked to the door.

"What?!" He was already pissed off at his visitor.

"Kenny? Dude, let me in!"

He sighed and opened the door.

"What the fuck do you want, Kyle?"

"Just came by make sure you were okay."

"I'm just fine. Perfect."

"Can I come in, or is there a half-naked girl I should worry about?"

"Not unless she's hiding in my closet."

He stepped aside, let Kyle in, and proceeded to collapse on the sofa, covering his face with his arm.

He heard Kyle moving around, but at this point he _really_ didn't care what he was doing. There was the sound of running water, the kitchen cabinets being opened and closed and then a glass being put on the coffee table.

Letting his arm fall to the side, Kenny looked next to him. A glass of water and aspirin.

_Damn it, he trying to be nice..._

"Thanks," he said quietly, as he sat up and reached for the aspirin.

"No problem," Kyle responded, equally as quiet. Both boys knew what was coming, and neither wanted it to. Kyle was pacing, and Kenny was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to untangle his blonde hair.

"Why did you think it was going to work?"

Kenny looked up at him. He sounded tired.

"Why did I think what was going to work?"

"This whole big fucking mess you've gotten yourself into!"

Kyle was louder than before and Kenny flinched; the sound hurt his ears.

"Please don't yell..." he pleaded, pressing his hand to his forehead.

Kyle sighed heavily. "Sorry. But really, Kenny, you couldn't have... I mean, you can't..."

"I know I screwed up, okay? I get the fact that the girl I love hates my guts, and that I'll probably never see her again. I left home so I wouldn't have to hear this kind of shit, and I don't need to hear it from you."

"Okay, okay," Kyle put his hands up in defence, "I get it."

They sat there for a minute in awkward silence.

"I really did screw up, didn't I?" Kenny said finally.

"Yes, yes, you did."

"Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks so."

Kyle then chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?"

He just shook his head.

"Nothing."

"_What_?" Kenny whined, smiling slightly at his own silliness.

"I'm just thinking about something you did last night."

"What did I do?"

"Why should I tell you?" Kyle smirked at Kenny's sudden look of horror.

"_Kyle!"_

"All I have to say is that I feel really bad for Butters."

"_**WHAT!**_"

* * *

Hehe, poor Kenny. I'm so evil.

Review!


	16. Epilogue: The End

Well, this is it. I really loved writing this story, and I'm a little sad it's over, but it had to come eventually.

I'd like to thank everyone who's been reviewing. You guys are awesome!

By the way, this story was named after the song Girls Rock Boys by Wakefield.

Enjoy!

* * *

The next two years were a blur. Kenny could barely remember everything that happened after graduation. 

Stan left to go to UCLA on a football scholarship. Everyone had known he would. It figured - he _was_ the star quarterback.

Wendy practically died, though. He had defiantly wanted to kill her. NYU was apparently "to far away". Now, say that about ten thousand times in Wendy's high-pitched, grading voice. Yeah, you'd want to blow someones head off too.

Kyle went to Harvard. The hours of late-night cramming finally paid off. No transferring, no nothing, just "Welcome!" It was ironic that the Super Best Friends ended up on opposite coasts.

Even Cartman went away. Yes, the fatass got into college. Off in Texas somewhere. It was a good thing, too, because Kenny certainly didn't want him around. The last time he talked to him was to get his money. That was it, end of story.

As for Kenny, well, he stayed in South Park and felt sorry of himself for a year. Yes, a whole year of moping around. His 19th birthday came, and he would have missed it had Stan not called him that day. After the birthday realization, the conversation went like this:

"So, what have you been up to lately?"

"Nothing."

"Kenny, when you say nothing I know there's something. What's up?"

"I'm fine, really."

"You're fine? I didn't ask if you where fine, I asked what you were doing."

"Oh, shit."

"Are you drinking again?"

"Maybe..."

"Shit, man, come on! You can't do this to yourself!"

"Do what to myself? I said I'm fine."

"Do you want to end up like your old man?"

"What?"

"Do you want to end up like your dad? 'Cause that's where you're headed if you keep this up."

"What else am I supposed to do, Stan?"

"You're supposed to get your life together! That's what you do!"

"How? How the fuck am I gonna do that?"

"MOVE! Get out of South Park! It'll do you some good! God!"

And he hung up.

The next day, Kenny started looking at apartments in Denver. It wasn't to far away, but it would be change. Just a little. Just what he needed.

So he moved. 500 bucks didn't get you very far, but it certainly helped. His brother, who was working as an engineer in Florida, sent him a little money, as well.

His apartment in Denver was, for lack of a better word, a shithole. It was crumbling, but Kenny felt strangely at home there. He got a job as a waiter at one of the nicer restaurants in the city. He figured what the hell? He could take orders rather well.

That September

"Yeah, right! I'll see you later, okay?"

"Later, Kenny!"

He kicked the back door of the restaurant open and pulled his hood over his head. As he reached the sidewalk, he lit a cigarette and took a deep breath. Five blocks home. Plenty of time to argue with his subconscious.

_You there?_

_**At your service, sir!**_

_You're cheery today._

_**You should be too, after that very nice piece of ass you picked up last night!**_

_Is sex all you really think about?_

_**No, it's all **__**you**__** really think about.**_

_Touche._

_**Thanks. **_

_You know, I still blame you for the Allie incident._

_**You are never going to let that go, are you? I could barely enjoy myself last night with all your thinking. What the fuck happened to you, man?**_

_I can't help it._

_**Yeah, that's everyone's excuse.**_

Walking down the street, he wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around him. That is, until someone coming out of one of the shops ran right into him.

"Hey, watch it!" she cried.

He had to do a triple take before what was happening sunk in. The girl who, with good reason, had broken his heart, was standing right in front of him.

"Allie?"

She looked just as surprised as he felt. "Kenny?"

"Oh, my God..."

"I have to go," she said it quickly and started down the street.

"Allie, wait!" He ran after her.

"Will you please just listen to me?"

She stopped abruptly and looked at him. "I'm listening."

"IfeelreallybadaboutwhatIdidtoyouandIknowyouprobablyhatemeandneverwantedtoseemeagainbutIloveyouandIwishyouwouldjusthearmeoutandmaybewecouldgetsomethingtoeatorsomethingandtalk." He said it so quickly _he_ barely knew what he had said.

"What was that?"

He took a deep breath. "Will you come and have dinner with me? I'll explain everything, I promise. Please?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Alright."

"What?"

"I could go for dinner."

He smiled. "Great."

And so they started walking together, not too close, not too far apart, just enough that the conversation about where to go could continue.

_**Just don't screw it up this time, okay?**_

_Shut up._

**The End**


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